Summary

I was trapped in severe bulimia and burdened by legalistic beliefs for years. Despite persistent struggles—with failed attempts, overwhelming self-hate, and a mind filled with lies—I refused to surrender. When I encountered a compassionate Christian counselor who helped me truly understand grace, I began to focus on Jesus instead of my failures. This renewed focus transformed my struggle into a journey of deliverance, restoration, and inner healing. Today, I celebrate a new beginning through rebaptism, having found hope and lasting freedom in the saving power of Jesus.

Time Chapters

01:05 First Baptism and Struggle
03:57 Counselor Guidance
05:45 Mind Renewed by Jesus
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I am being rebaptized at my church this Sunday. The church gives each person being baptized an opportunity to share their testimony. A video is made as a keepsake, and parts of my video will be played at church when I’m baptized. Jesus is my everything, and I want to share this public statement with everyone in the hopes that it may help someone else. I was severely buimic for about two years, binging on large quantities of food and throwing it up 3-5 times per day. It got to the point where my body would feel extemely sick even eating a few bites of oatmeal or fruit. My heart would hurt and pound and I would fear I would have a heart attack.
I went from never having had acid reflux in my life to being prescribed four omeprazole per day due to the severe acid reflux. I have not been bulimic in five years now, and I still take one omeprazole per day. I neglected to mention in the video that I also had an eating disorder doctor who prescribed other medications for me to try to decrease the binging/purging that did not help me at all that had awful side effects for me, none of which did I stay on for more than a few days. I am an intelligent person with a master’s degree who completed 8 years of college. I had many people wanting me to go to rehab, but I would not go because I did not think it would have any effect on the eating disorder as I had already been trying to fix it since I was 14 and it had only gotten worse. I had already tried using all the resources I could find. I would try using all my might repeatedly to stop with whatever new book or method I found, counting down the days I could go without purging on my calendar, trying with everything in me, and it was not possible. I might get 30 days or 60 days but then I’d fall back and succumb once more. To add more backstory, I heavily restricted my food and exercised a ton when going through puberty, which caused my body to go into a famine state, which led to my developing binge eating disorder from that young age. I then attempted to control that through more dieting and large amounts of exercise (exercise bulimia) from 14 up until 27, when it became vomiting bulimia for those two years. This was a very deep and severe eating disorder that no doctor, drug, psychologist, eating disorder book, or support group could make a dent in, and I tried MANY. Jesus went against all laws of my reality and renewed my mind. All of my efforts apart from Jesus amounted to nothing and did not provide any lasting change. If you have an addiction and think there is no way out – if the harder you try, the worse it gets, know that there is a way out! And His name is Jesus! Jesus can renew your mind. He did for me what I feared was impossible. I was in a deep dark pit, trying to claw my way out, and every time I got a little ways up, I fell back down and sank into the pit deeper. Jesus stood at the top of that pit on the solid ground, and He reached down His hand and told me how much He loved me. He communicated to me that He was not disgusted by me at all and that He loved me so massively, and if I just focused on Him and pursued my relationship with Him, He could pull me out of that deep dark pit. AND HE DID IT. He is more incredible and amazing than I think people can fathom. He sets the captives free. He breaks every chain. He is EVERYTHING. HE IS LOVE.

“I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.
He freed me from all my fears.
Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;
no shadow of shame will darken their faces.
In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened;
he saved me from all my troubles.” – Psalm 34: 4-6

“…He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound.” -Isaiah 61:1b

“For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds.” -2 Corinthians 10:4